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May 03, 2007



You are entirely correct.


Just dropped by to say love the blog. I agree the advert is detestable on the grounds of taste and smugness.

Today, though, your angle is a bit off. I imagine legions of gals have told you this in the past. Part of the issue with that advert is that it perpetuates the notion that men secretly think that what matters is shagging and guitars.

Surely that's only true if (a) you are a teenager and not getting enough or (b) if you are a sad old git and ...?


You are PARTLY correct. Those of us who always thought the ambitious money-chasing types were fools and who concentrated on the more partyfied aspects of life have always looked at recent, mid-life, converts with a slightly suspicious eye. Frankly it's too late to be taking it up. You missed your chance and it ain't coming back.


All that, about a VW Passat. What thoughts does a Vauxhall Insipid inspire?

Luis Enrique

what about the opposite - having chosen a life of spiritual rewards, then coming to realise that perhaps you undervalued the green stuff when you were young an idealistic?

Mark Wadsworth

No, the point is, it is a repulsive and thoroughly shit advert for a completely average car.

Although you are supposed to despise the ugly actors who have bought motorbikes etc, the smoothy type who has bought a VW is just as smarmy and obnoxious.

VW pioneered ironic advertising half a century ago; this is a tragic end. Let's not forget that Hitler sort of invented the Beetle, which somehow became a hippy icon for several decades. How about that for a come-back?

Maynard Handley

Of course it depends on your wife, doesn't it?

True wisdom is knowing that, if she makes you happy and makes you laugh, that's probably not worth risking for a 20yr old. Sure their bodies are great, but their conversation is beyond boring, and even the excitement of tight flesh flags after two or three weeks --- at which point how do you extricate yourself from this situation you're in without having the 20yr old blow up and your wife find out? At least some part of wisdom is looking forward to how things may play out over a span of more than the next hour.

IMHO (and I'd like to see an ad brave enough to make this obvious point) if you're a 40yr old man and feel a desperate need to revisit 20yr old flesh, you're better off hiring a call girl you'll never see again.

[As for the electric guitar, come on, dude, that's just sad. Like the guys who sit around telling anyone who passes by the story of the greatest moment of their life, 25 yrs ago, when they scored the winning goal for their high school soccer team.
If you've reached the age of 40 and your secret fantasy is to be a rock star, your problems run deeper than whether or not you spent your life making money.
I've no problems with having secret fantasies, but let them at least be adult fantasies.]


Luis, you have put your finger on the tragedy of my life.


"We chased money rather than birds, and didn't have time for the guitar."

Yup - this is why you put your strings on the wrong way around and then try to justify this with a link to some obscure pdf paper on left-handed people or something.

"and even the excitement of tight flesh flags after two or three weeks"

Two or three weeks!? Good God, man - have you no imagination?

James Hamilton

"What matters is shagging and guitars." This could be - if you wanted it to be - your first sensible strapline. But I suspect there's a lot more worrying about public schoolboys in your future than there is music or romance. And twaddle about oiks and extremists. Oh, well..


Am I not right that the motorbikes, guitars and girls are the reward for the years of work? There has to be a pay-off somewhere...

I'm trying to avoid step 1 on this plan, I'll let you know how it goes.


"What matters is shagging and guitars."

To guys who have bought their own houses perhaps. If I had more interested in the money throughout my 20s perhaps I wouldn't be in my late 30s and looking at the large gap between me and the bottom of the property ladder.

Now I can't say I didn't have a fantastic time, taking drugs, going to raves, rejecting the oppresive systems of control by having a stupid haircut. But now I'd like a house. I'd welcome the oppresive system of a mortgage.


Because "...heaven in its anger had visited [you] with ambition", perhaps the best thing you could do as part of your mid-life crisis would be to write a large cheque to those of us that heaven ignored?

I'd be happy to show you a few moves on the guitar that I picked up in youthful sloth in return for a low six-figure sum (£Stg)?

Could I recommend William Burroughs advice to you here?


You may recognise some lines from another blog of your acquaintance, but I think that the 'old fool, sold his soul for a strap-on' line is pertinent here?



Oh dear. You've got it bad, haven't you Chris?


"Mid-life crises" aren't to be laughed at - they are the beginnings of true knowledge.

Too much wisdom in one blog. Danger of overdose.


Buddha with a hard-on.

Not Saussure

The trick, I think, is to take a more biblical view of matters (and, in my case, a realistic view based on average life expectency for men in my family) and have your mid-life crisis during your mid-30s.

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