Yvette Cooper cures chlamydia

Housing minister Yvette Cooper has found the solution to Britain's sexual health "crisis." No, it's not that thinking of her puts people off sex. It's that building more homes will reduce sexually transmitted diseases.
One of the main effects of the housing shortage is that it's forcing young people to live with their parents for longer. A housebuilding programme will let them move out earlier. And having a place of their own will make it easier for young people to have sex. It's easier to invite someone back to your place if you don't have to worry about waking your mum up; my sole motive in buying my flat in Belsize Park was to have somewhere to bring the laydeez*. 
Extra housing will therefore create a supply of virginal 20-somethings ready for sex. This supply might be increased by the fact that living on one's own gives you more self-confidence than you get from living with your mum.
This will reduce sexually transmitted diseases.
Yes, reduce, as Steve Landsburg has explained. If a virginal guy is on the market, there's a (small!) chance women will sleep with him rather than with the bloke who's been around and will infect them with the clap. So, the prevalence of STDs will fall.
In this way, housebuilding is a way of cutting STDs. After all, is it really a coincidence that the numbers of 25-34 year-olds - those most affected by the housing shortage - with new cases of chlamydia has risen by almost a quarter since 2002? 
* It didn't work, which only shows that the law of unintended consequences is everywhere.

Comments

[Matt Munro]

But by definition the bloke with the clap is more attractive to the ladies, so why would they reject him in favour of a virginal bloke who is probably paying so much rent/mortage on his new flat that he can't buy them dinner anyway ?

[James Hamilton]

And there I was thinking you just wanted to move to somewhere more working class...

[Patrick]

You should have bought a flat in Camden Town. You'd have been laughing.

[wufnik]

Or move up a bit to Hampstead. Of course, The House has closed down, to be relaced by a Carluccio's. So I don't know where "London's Best Pulling Spot" can be found these days. But it's probably not the any of the burger places in Belsize.

Yvette Cooper, btw, has no problem with building houses in floodplains. Of course, she aleady has children, so saying supremely stupid things will no longer hurt her reproductive chances.

[Without Prescription]

I cannot say that suffering from erectile dysfunction is any fun at all... http://www.xlpharmacy.com

[Migraine]

Chlamydia is no a joke, is the most common STD in the whole country.